I leveled up in real life.

It wasn't like I hit enough gold coins, or captured the flag, in parenting I leveled up. 

I've never been a mother type. At least to my self, to others maybe but I never felt that I would be one to ooh and awe and coo or kiss boo boos. After a few rough days acclimating myself to this "stay at home here me roar" days we finally had a break through. I'm not sure if many other parents go through this stage or not but it's literally draining,

 The dreaded WHY stage...

Why do I have to brush my teeth? 

Why do I have to wear a seat belt?

Why do I need to change my underwear?

Why does it look like you are turning red?

Why do I need to do homework?

Why, Why, Why, Why. 

I never wanted to be the adult that always stated.. because I said so. 

I never yelled, or screamed and I calmly explained about why we do the things we do and the effects that happen if we don't follow those things. It happened, I finally flew off my rocker. After about a series of 100  20 questions I finally reached my maximum of questions and I blew. I said those dreaded "Because I said So."  At this point the child ruled the house, what to do, when to do it, whats going on etc. Yes this is completely my fault but I thought if I kept her happy the child would listen to me. Boy was I wrong. I finally yelled and set her to her room, there were tears, screams and false temper tantrums. 

There was shift in the force after this moment. I know know if the heavens opened up and a light was shining or what. After this moment there was a shift in the universe. I finally became an authority figure. Now don't get me wrong, I tend to not yell at the child, or anything else but I finally can give a stern look at her, she takes me seriously.  

After all this I'm still dealing with self worth. All those moms out there, do you ever need to have a self worth fulfilled. When your husband comes home, would you sometimes like for him to say "great job, doing homework, cooking, dinner, and cleaning the house and keeping the child alive!" Or am I just over thinking this. I'm used to having constructive criticism at my previous place of employment but now, I'm not sure what to do. I need to feel useful. I guess my issue is that even with working 60 hours a week I still cooked dinner, cleaned the house and helped with homework. I'm just not sure if this is what I meant to do. Anyone else have these insecurities?